joy

i realize that while i am living my life without a camera, i need to dig up some old inspiration for my blog posts. my blog lull left me without a proper post for mary's birthday- a perfect opportunity to fill in the gaps.



a year ago, april 24.
lindy was there to photograph mary's birth which means a)there are lots of amazing shots of the whole experience and b) 98% of them are inappropriate for posting on the internet. but this is one of 2% (almost). mary was born after only a couple of hours of labor, which i have learned, makes a huge difference when it comes to baby-having. i mean, in the same way that sprinting is easier than marathon running. at 3 in the afternoon i climbed into the tub, totally amazed we had already come to this point. my pregnancy had flown by as i chased after hero and soaked up as much time with her as i could. we didn't know if the baby was a girl or boy... it all felt like a whirlwind. this was helped by how gently my labor began. my only experience had been long and arduous and i had almost banked on that as a way to, sort of, catch up with what was happening. but suddenly i was in that tub, and just a few hour later i was pushing and only minutes i heard leslie, my midwife, say.. "when your ready, reach down and get your baby." and i did! i push again and reached my arms down into the warm water and got my baby. and i was mesmerized. my mary josephine. my surprise from the Giver of all Gifts.

what a lesson she is for me in family planning. i found out i was pregnant when hero was 6 months old. i was unsure of my abilities and scared. but in that moment, this moment of joy, with my little, warm baby girl in my arms, He spoke to me and said, "Trust in me... I give you all good things."

if you have had a baby you know what it is like to rejoice when you hold your little one for the first time. it really is rejoicing...sobs and wailing and laughter. it is truly one of the greatest of all human experiences.

so then i was tucked into bed...kirby at our side, my new little one nursing for the first time. and the sun was setting and the room was amber and warm and my brother was playing piano in the room next door. a song that was thoughtful and powerful, sweet and strong. the moment was just that.