Wednesday, April 11, 2018


Oh, it's ooonnnn.


(Isn't it dumb how freaking obvious my blog habits go? Something like get pregnant>die>quit blogging>hate blogging>hate everything>have baby>rise again>desp. to blog>love blogging>love everything) It's my truth and I'm just tryna live my truth, ya'll.

I'm sure this all sounds very thrilling and you just can't wait for me to start slapping out post after post but I super duper promise it's all relatively boring. For instance: birth story, postpartum underwear, my new sheets, how many hours a day I clocked in the bathtub during my final trimester, annoying things my kids do, ALBIE.


He's the best. Turns out it was totally worth it to have another baby, guys. Can't believe it surprised me... again. But it did.

I'll just leave you with a little teaser trailer because if my blog trend tells you anything it's that the first post back is just basically making the big ol' meaningless announcement to the internet and then peacing out via a few new baby pics. Thus I must...

Miss you guys!!

Friday, September 22, 2017

Artifact Uprising & the story of him

At the risk of sounding totally snarky, I will be the first to admit that the idea of "baby book" 10 years into being a mother would have had me rolling eyes. It's probably equal parts the amount of kids I have and how naturally inefficient I am at keeping records of anything. The best I've got is a few accordion files and rubbermaid bins stuffed with cute drawings I want to save. It's not saying much...

But another thing is that back when I was in a baby book making mood (10 years ago -_-), baby books were so damn ugly and complicated. There is no other way around it. It feels super weird and cliche to already be able to say "back when I was a first time mom blah blah blah" but it's true!! Hero's baby book is like pink gingham with buttons sewn to the cover. Ew.

It's not often I am converted back to a more time consuming way of doing anything but here I am, making a baby book!! Artifact Uprising has actually managed to make SUCH good memory book for baby that not only have I made one for Francis who was never ever going to have a baby book (FTR) but now I am going back in time to make one for all my other neglected children. True conversion.

This is what I really love most about these books- first off, the quality is exceptional (obviously). Not only are the pages lovely and the cover so beautiful you will never let your children touch them but the AU baby book comes with a really pretty ball point pen, double sided stickies for adhering your photos, and a credit for a set of free Artifact Uprising prints, which are really nice prints. Opening the box felt like a freaking spa day for photo albums! Everything is pretty and it's all right there AND they treat you right. So good. Plus, the color choices are soooo pretty.

I also love the structure of the book. Some of the prompts were hard for me (IE "you surprised us when..." ???? I have no idea how to answer that) but the 3.25" square photos fit super perfectly right over any prompts I didn't want to/know how to answer. Hack dat! Each section is divided by month and I suppppper loved the simplicity of that. There is really only space for 4-5 photos each month which makes it super doable for the average mom who doesn't have a billion solo photos of their ahem-cough 7th baby. I didn't feel intimated at all about picking a few photos for each month which is KEY for a lady such as myself. Plus, the book is straight up finished at 12 months. You feel like you actually accomplished so much without having to hunt for a lock of hair or something insane.

Another XL bonus is that all the pages are held in with a binder-style spine so you can just TAKE out anything that doesn't apply (I didn't even need to though, which is pretty major... I just like knowing the option is there.) Plus with the super easy AU app and ordering interface, it took me like 15 min to sort through pics on my phone, make an album for the Frankie-boy, and get my prints ordered.

Believer, ya'll! Welcome to MODERNISM (you already do all this I'm sure).


Watching this video on The Story of You to get inspired/cry if you are anywhere near ovulation or pregnancy.

Scoping Artifact Uprising for a book or prints or everything.

Using this coupon code for 10% off your order TheStoryofYou10 (which really counts when a baby book is pricey).

Are you gonna get one? Do you have one?? Which color? Inquiring minds n stuff.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Mom drugs

As promised, I wanted to give you the rundown of my survival methods during this hellish first trimester, because this time around I actually had survival methods other than Netflix, my bed, and feeble pleas to the heavens (take me, take me now, etc).

I SHOULD have mentioned all of this way back when I was a mere half-life so that all my suffering sisters could have benefited as well but I was so unable to accomplish anything so... I didn't. I'm so sorry if you could have used this stuff but missed out, for those of you that can benefit NOW, or later, or ever, read on.

Sometimes a little teensy IG comment can really turn things around. When I first posted about my pregnancy, a friend mentioned wanting to try a brand called Pink Stork than runs a supplement line for pregnancy and morning sickness. I clicked right over to the website, read a few testimonials, and ordered the morning sickness bundle straight up immediately. (Specifically the premiere bundle)

Let me paint the picture for you, pre-Pink Stork. I would wake up > roll over > take a Zofran > every four hours take a Zofran > fall asleep > repeat. The FIRST DAY on Pink Stork (no joke) without even realizing it, I didn't take a Zofran until 3:30 pm. The following day I didn't take one until 5 pm, and then I never took another Zofran again. I wanted to shout Pink Stork from the rooftops but I was still incapable of most things outside of the basics and so I didn't do that but, BUT it took a massive edge off and I swear made life more bearable and more survivable almost instantaneously. I was super faithful with the supplements but only used the tea and the mist as needed, fyi (both included in the bundle I bought). There is another, smaller bundle that I'm sure would help, too, but it did feel comforting to know it was all there if I needed it. So worth a try!

(Nothing like digging deep in the camera roll to find depressing first tri portraiture ala Mary) AKA HERE LIES THE OLD ME (not dead)

**Also not dead**

The other thing was/is/ever shall be is a whole foods supplement drink called Zeal and I will be damned if I didn't stop and LOL at that right here and now because MLM. I give the majorist of props to people that can successfully market MLM products but I... just... can't. Call it my pride, call it whatever! Of course until I started using it and it actually worked and then I was just like slap me in the face I actually will have more where that came from! Plus, it's hard to deny that certain companies are legit and successful. Hello, Beauty Counter? Hello, Young Living?? Hello, Rodan + Fields!! Hello, I, too, buy this stuff! Anyway, it's super revamped my life. Does anyone else drink it?? I know there are a million of these out there that people love and I have no knowledge of any of them but this is the bomb (says with full authority). I feel like my daily bump (bad drug reference, I realize) gave/gives me the energy, clarity, and, oddly, patience to manage the day waaaayyy more smoothly. It's not something I am promoting just for first trimester but more so for life/mom life/etc (although it did save my life in the first tri). My spiritual director drinks it to manage his chronic knee pain, others use it for help with stress and anxiety, or blood pressure, or milk supply, etc... kind a weird cure all for some. Anyway, it has seriously become my d.o.c., MLM repulsion be damned! I'm not going to hawk it too much here but if you want more information/feel like you are in need of something like this in your life- feel free to email me ( I shall do my very best to respond to you like a normal, attentive human being.

And there you have it! At the end of the day, pregnancy is survival (can I get an amen?). Even though I lived a lot of life in my bed there is something about finding something that made me feel even a little more normal that restored my hope in all things. If you're there and you're suffering right now, I am so sorry. I'm not going to tell you it will get better because you already know that and it never helps to hear it anyway.

Happy Wednesday, beebs.

Saturday, September 16, 2017

God knows






ANOTHER BING BONG. 4 in row, 4, 4 and under, 4. (These are the lines running NYSE in my head).

Can you believe? Well, yes, dumb question. I'm sure you can. Even I, proud gestating mother of boys, can believe it. I even laughed out loud when I saw that little peep all aglow on the screen. You're a boy, aren't you, you little stinker??

Yeah, mom :P

Anyway, I wasn't sad as I thought I would be when I considered the mere possibility of this babe being another boy. I really just laughed, and then I called Kirby and he laughed, too. I'd call it an affectionate tossing our hands up moment for the both of us. A true -_-. A cheeky eyeroll towards the heavens.

But there are already little moments making me genuinely excited that this baby is a boy. 1. I realllllllly freaking love my guys. I love our mornings with the kids away at school, I love watching them play, I love spoiling them with "bra-ssants" from Starbucks. I love how terrible they are to eachother and how easily they recover. I love how Francis is already one of the pack. 2. I kinda wonder how a girl would fare around here at this point. Yesterday morning I had just gotten Francis up and as I changed his diaper, Pete and Joe just climbed all over him. Knees in the stomach, elbow in the temple, etc. And he was so happy. Gleeful, even. I imagine maybe a little one year old girl would not be so happy given similar circumstances. and 3. I just know God's plan is so utterly, utterly perfect for me. He knows what he is doing and so I'll just sit and watch the tide roll in. I am a mother of five boys. FIVE! AH! Laugh/cry/repeat/etc.

Come at me, little bing bonger.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

The date says it all...

If the last post dates almost exactly 3 months ago then you better know she got knocked up and is now in her second trimester holllllaaaaa!

(back 2 life, back 2 reality.... kinda)

I read the first sentence of that last post and lol'ed a bit bc summer was off to a fantastic start and then I peed on that little stick and life came to a screeching halt. Funny how that little line can change everything. I found out I was pregnant on July 3 (a mere 4 weeks pregnant) and by week 5 I was laid da fuq out (pardon my real). Usually I have until week 7 or 8 to start feeling bad but this one hit me like a ton of bricks. The reality is, of course, of course, you can't complain a lot when your body is tackling the immense task of growing a life. I have had healthy, uneventful pregnancies and I am so, so grateful. But there is also the very real reality that pregnancy can be completely grueling, and consuming, and even awful. This one felt a lot like that. For all of the wonder and gratitude that comes with it, it's strange and complicated to accept and manage the feelings of ugh this is so so so bad that can often come be a part of it. I certainly experienced those feelings this time around, and they are tricky.

Anyway, I am 14 weeks as of tomorrow and feeling more and more like myself every day. So grateful. For as many weeks as I was down n' out, I'm not fleeing a hurricane or some other natural disaster and I'm getting a new baby out of the deal so, perspective. Turns out that every one around here survived my mental/emotional/physical absence and we can all move right along just fine. I suppose kids are resilient and understanding when they are anticipating a new baby. I'm forever grateful for my kids ability to see the joy in that even when I'm a zombie.

There are so many things I feel the intense urge of unload about but I'll mainly focus on the positives which include how I freaking survived the last 8 weeks (read: surprisingly amazing supplements and totally selfless friends), an slightly insane but awesome road trip to CO, a bomb vacay to Palm Springs where I floated in a pool for many hours a day while sipping cold beverages and mentally trying to erase the entirety of my first trimester, and the fact that I decided to pony up the $50 to get an early gender detection ultrasound next Wednesday. I'm sure it will simply conclude that I'm having yet another bing-bong but at least I will know and we can all move right along.

All that and more but we should all probably just dip our toes in the waters of Fikedom before I get too overwhelming. For now I leave you with my XL belly + big brother (how???) because he's cute but also because I don't have much else exciting on my camera roll.

Hope life has been blissfully good to you all. Everyone in Florida- I'm praying for you!!!!

Monday, June 26, 2017

7 quick takes, three days late edition

Guys, Summer!!!

We have been doing it right, if I do say so myself. Aside from les miserables Magic Mountain day, we have hit the beach multiple times, my parents pool a jillion times, been sunburned, lived off of popsicles, had a lot of BBQ, and fun family movie nights while the sun goes down and the raccoons sniff around our patio for leftovers.

If you are interested in the status of my comments section, let me tell you it is still as terrible as ever. STD's, witchcraft, and getting husbands back are the bulk of my never-ending stream of comments and I rarely get a comment from you! Are you terrified?? I will post it! Don't stop talking to me because I am haunted by DR. OWWNEDNEFA QURASTA.

This post is just a quick nod to my BF, Jeff Bezos. Now that it's summertime and my children are all around me, a trip to the store for any and all essentials just kills me dead. I'm increasingly grateful for my "subscribe and save" items and I thought they would be fun to share. Obviously because I don't know what *fun* is.

1. sponges

(lol this post is already making me laugh)

2. Method Smarty Dish Tabs - I feel like I've really done my research on this and this, by far, is the best bang for my buck when it comes to eco-happy, cheap, user-friendly dishwasher soap.

3. Toothbrushes... makes me feel so much better about my children's health in general to have a frequent rotation of toothbrushes that just arrive in my mailbox without my brain having to consider the where, why, how's of XL family dental care.

4. Dish soap - This is crazy cheap for Mrs. Meyers!! I have no idea why. This smell makes me happy.

5. Toothpaste (for us)

6. Toothpaste (for them)

7. Burt's Bees Baby Shampoo - This makes my children smell good for about 45 minutes and for that I am grateful.

Is there anything better than things you need that just COME to you?? Not a lot.

((spam zone))

Linking up with Kelly...

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Head to toe

I gotta be quick today because I made the v v wise and genius decision today to go to Magic Mountain in 100 degree heat with kid that turned up sick and not enough food/water/positivity and we will probably be recovering for at least 6 movies.

I've got a few where is that from questions as of late so I'm just gonna give you the quick rundown of what's working for me this summer (if in fact it may work for U 2). Everything below I am wearing obnoxiously often which equals I love it.

I love these sunglasses (on sale, too!)

Thanks to all those Instagram ads I jumped on the Glossier train and I am INTO boy brow and the stretch concealer. Two thumbs up! Has anyone tried cloud paint? That's next on my list...

I just got this linen boyfriend shirt in white and I loooove it. It perfectly flouncy and crisp and lightweight. ok emoji ok emoji ok emoji cool sunglass guy emoji.

My fave accessory that I'm surely over-wearing but I don't care. (I have it in silver)

I went for these wide-leg crop jeans because I was feeling brave and I LOVE them (I love a lot of things, did you realize?) Especially with the linen boyfriend button down hellooooo

And these sandals. Errday.

Bye (lololollllcry)