This week has been weird. With the vid and Hallie and Grace's introductions, I feel like I have a bunch of new friends. HI! Who are you? Do you blog? How can I get to know you? I'm so glad you found me. At first (I admit) I kinda stressed about what I would blog about next, but then a dear friend said to me "I couldn't imagine ever saying anything worthy of the attention of >32 people!" And I thought "you're completely right!" So I guess I'll just continue about saying normal, unworthy things. You're welcome.
But truly, I'm so happy your here. Happy.
Real quick about the vid and my future follow up post. I only have one question so far. Are you sure? If you don't ask me questions all I'll do is ramble and that could potentially be so lame. It's up to you guys.
Back to normal/boring stuff:
Today Mary is 6. If you haven't met her, you could just imagine a Ramona Quimbyish girl, riding a rainbow, eating nothing but cake sprinkles, singing the Sound of Music, Irish dancing everywhere and being the sweetest to small children and insects. She genuflects in the most sincere and flairish way and she has been known to dramatically brush the robes of our priest or deacon with her hands and she flits by during communion. She dictates intensely complicated and wordy letters to family and friends (ex: dear Johnny, oh my brother, my brother dear. How I love you on your fourth birthday. Oh brother, you make my heart sing and you're as nice as the springtime. ETC) She makes me paper jewelry on a regular basis and requested "spaghetti and-a meatballs" (Italian accent included) for her birthday dinner. I don't even know if she likes spaghetti and meatballs but I know she likes saying things like "spaghetti and-a meatballs." And those are some of the million reasons why I love her.
I also love her because she taught me the biggest lesson in "family planning" of my life. It took us almost a year to get pregnant with Hero. That was fine but always in the back of my mind was my mothers history of miscarriages and my two rounds of radiation I had after my thyroid cancer diagnosis. I didn't know if either of those things held any weight in the fertility department but I always wondered. Maybe many children would not be my story, and the very least, getting pregnant quickly would not be my story. And then six months after Hero was born I found out I was pregnant. I remember crying. And feeling so terrible for crying. I knew I would love her, but all I saw was my wiggly six month old on the floor and I thought "how am I supposed to do this again already?"
But you know how the story goes, the baby comes and you just do it. And it's so filled with happiness that you'd never trade it. I remember thinking specifically when she was born "I would not have wanted to wait another second for you."
And I knew then that I'd be singing the same song with any other baby that came our away.
I would not have wanted to wait another second for you.
I imagine a lot of mothers out there are scared. Especially for a second bb. That one cracks wide open the idea that you couldn't possibly love another one as much. I promise times a million it will be the best thing even if right now it's the scariest thing.
It's so sweet to me that she was such an unexpected joy. If we hadn't named her Mary Josephine she could easily go by that - unexpected joy. Wild surprise, crazy love, amazing grace. Love you, baby girl.