Monday, April 7, 2014

On Johnny and all the feelings

Today Johnny turned four. I think four is the official gateway age into kidness. He was my first son and he has always been such a totally affectionate lovey to me (and everyone/thing). I am starting to get glimpses of his independence and it's a little sad (a lot sad. SAD.). It makes me wonder if all those cliches are true... about boys and their mamas and how things really change. Three felt nice and safe and little. Four feels more like five, and five feels more like six, and, you know, six feels more like 27.
He says funny things all the time still. Like tonight, I was talking about baby Peter and he said, "aw, lucky Peter. I wish I could be a baby." I asked him why and he said, "so I could talk in a baby voice." First of all, you can talk in a baby voice whenever you want, dude. And it's not that special. Second of all, Peter is four months old, he isn't even talking in any kind of voice yet. Or like how everything that's happened in the past was "yesterday" and everything ahead is "tomorrow" (Am I five tomorrow? Remember when I was a baby yesterday?) Tonight he told us that he got bit by a roach on his toenail yesterday when he was a teenager. I like that stuff. I like how he still wears that Spider-Man suit everywhere.

He still wants me to snuggle him, and he still lets me kiss his face a million times before bed. I just hope that all doesn't fade too quickly.

I suppose part of it is just how strange it feels to find myself moving on from being a mother of just little ones. In a few weeks Mary will be six and then I'll say "seven, six, four" when I'm asked the top three's ages and I'm realizing that gone are the days when it was "baby, two, three." Those days felt like my days, forever, but 
they are gone. Already gone. And I know time will just keep on flying. 

Sometimes in life that feels ok, but right now I just kind of want to hold on to them as they are forever.
Anyway, let's try and switch gears from sadmom fest to sapmom fest. I wrote this post shortly after Johnny was born and I thought I'd link it up in honor of today. Keep in mind, this was written in the olden days before I had a device to capitalize words for me. Apologies in advance it if reads like a giant run-on sentence.  Four?! (sob, sob)


  1. Happy birthday to Johnny. That guy is the best. The spiderman-suited best.

    Also, is he missing some little yellow sneakers? Because we have some that aren't ours and my kids think they are yours.

  2. Love this! I have a 3 year old son who will be 4 in September, and I can so relate. The yesterday thing... absolutely... no sense of time. Hearing the things that go through his head now that he can communicate so well is adorable, fascinating and hilarious. My husband and I are always exchanging looks while he's talking... so fun!