Today I found myself in a group of excited women who just got word that one of us was about to have her baby. I listened to the flood of excited commentary roll in and I felt a rush of happiness. I realized that almost every one of these women, myself included, had either experienced birth or pregnancy at some point in the past year or so. We are like a steady tide, ebbing, flowing, ebbing. Someone hoping for a baby, someone waiting for her baby, someone ready to go, someone with a new one in her arms. And then I imagined myself back a few years and realized it's almost always been that way with the women in the community around me. Someone hoping, someone waiting, someone ready, someone loving. I have played every role at some point, and so have they. I thought of the brand new babies around me and baby Joe... the friends who spent this last year pregnant with me. The ones who said "me too!!" when I told them I was pregnant. We were all on the heels on some other mother, and they were all on the heels of someone else.
And it made me so proud.
Proud because right now in our culture mostly all of what I see is heartbreaking and horrible when it comes to babies. I sometimes feel like I am drowning in it. Most of what I read makes me terribly sad, and terribly angry, and mostly lost. Lost because what more can I say? And who could I even say it to? And is anyone even listening at all anymore? I wonder how my children will be able to grow and thrive and see beauty in a world that can often offer so little.
But then I think of this tide I keep riding and these babies that keep coming and I realize this, they, will win the war. These babies and their mothers giving giving giving. I go back to that conversation earlier today and am overwhelmed by the women in my life. How completely inspired I was hearing their happiness anticipating the birth of another baby... no matter how many have come and how many are coming; it seems we always want them. Even when we are scared or anxious or not ready, we want them. And sometimes when we find it hard to want them ourselves, the mothers around us nudge us back into the light. Yes, this is beautiful, yes it will be perfect.
All it is is a leaky faucet constantly dripping love. And I think it will flood this place far and wide someday. We might not see it now but we will.