Friday, January 30, 2009


this photo says it all. it was 1:04 in the morning. we had been at it for over a day. i was so tired. i was so elated. i had been pushing for a really long time and my eyes were almost swollen shut so i could barely see her. it was almost comical. i remember closing my eyes tight then opening them and trying to memorize as much as possible because i couldn't keep them open for more than a few seconds, and everything was blurry. i remember feeling soooo good. it's amazing that after so long of feeling really bad, in an instant, you feel more amazing than you ever have in your whole life. i was so tired i couldn't even cry right. i remember just making crying sounds but i didn't really move my face at all. i must of looked like a total lunatic. i remember how amazing that moment was, seeing my baby for the first time, realizing how great God is and what a miracle life is. what a miracle that i was living and participating in this incredible thing. i remembering being so in love with kirby and feeling so attached to him. i remember eating carrots with ranch right after i got out of the tub and feeling like it was the greatest thing i had ever tasted. i felt so alive yet completely exhausted beyond my capacity. i remember feeling like my life had started. i remember the room bring dark and warm. i remember her being soft and slippery and tiny. i remember feeling powerful and amazed. that's what i remember.

1 comment:

  1. The photo is beautiful and the description is off the charts incredible. I don't know that my labors were as hard as yours, but the onslaught of emotions, oh yes, that description is right on. So perfectly right on. Those moments, right after delivery of my babies, are so intensely precious.