Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Back in the Game/Feeling Lentish

I think I'm back.

I don't feel like I have enough time to browse blogs let alone write them but (let's just be real real about this) all my friends are doing it and I want to, too. Nice and shallow of me, I know.
Moving on...

Yesterday I did something really scary.

I filmed a segment of a YouTube show called "Have a Little Faith." Here is the episode on Hasidic Judaism. Just go ahead and watch that then I won't have to describe what the show is about. I was nervous for weeks about this thing. Nervous that I would be asked hard questions that I wouldn't know how to answer, nervous that I would melt into a blubbering idiot, worried that I would talk too much, be too loud, that my hair would look weird, that I wouldn't get my house clean enough, that I'd forget all the things I could otherwise say, in a conversation, to a friend, on a normal day. 

(You know, normal stuff...)

***************Anyways****************

know that I needed to do this and I knew God would do whatever He wanted and I that I needed to get over myself just a little bit. So, I told myself that over and over and I prayed and they all showed up and it was happening.

The host, Zach, and the entire crew were warm, funny, friendly, good, kind, great. It felt mostly really natural and easy. Some questions were unexpected, some were tough. I wish I had more time with the crew. I wish I could have gotten to know them a bit better. I wish I hadn't been so rushed, I wish I would have taken more time to think and pray, I wish I would have stressed less and reapplied my lipstick more, I wish I would have worn different shoes (spoiler alert: super ratty, gray Nikes... Whyyyyyyyy?) I'm sure I need to stop thinking so hard about it (again), I'm sure I need to get over myself (again).

Perhaps my ratty, gray Nikes will bless all the ratty Nike wearing moms of the world. Perhaps my non-lipsticked lips will bless all the non-lipsticked moms of the world. If nothing else, I should be grateful for another opportunity for God to straight squash my vanity.

Overall, I'm super grateful I got to do it. I'm grateful I got to meet the people I did. And I hope they edit it nicely. I think our kids were awesome and I'm happy the world gets to see them. I'm only now regretting allowing Clemmy to gnaw on the random apple core she found on the sidewalk at the park as it must have horrified our new friends. But, what can you do. MOVING ON...

So, because my entire mental and emotional universe was busy freaking out about yesterday's happenings... I didn't really prepare for Lent.

at.all.

So last night, when the shoot was all done, I spent some energy on it. What we would do, how we would do it. I woke up this morning ready to greet this Lent with the rare weekday mass with all the people. I sweetly yelled from my bed for everyone to hustle and get ready cause we were GOING TO MASS (aw yeah, whoop whoop, self-righteous emoji, dancing lady emoji). I sat up.... Hmm, my back feels funny. I stood up.... FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF MY BACK FFFFFFFFFFFFF!!! (Crying emoji, sobbing emoji, elderly woman emoji). I stumble-shuffled to the foot of my bed, fell non-gracefully to the floor and stretched a bit. Then I stumble-shuffled to the couch where I've mostly been ever since (11:34 as I type, 12:15 as I edit). So, yeah. Lent is looking a little less like mass and phone off and structure and decluttering and holy and more like all the oatmeal glopped on the floor, Johnny half-eating about 7 apples before 9:30 a.m. and spending a good 4 min licking the blades of a pair of scissors while I yell at him from the couch, kitchen looking like a little sliver of hell and chiropractor. TV is ON, phone is OUT, baby is doing naps right on me and Clem's boogs are freely flowing and she is not anywhere near the zone of couch-reach. But it's all actually feeling a lot more Lenty than it would if things had gone the way I planned. Sacrifices on the right, mortification on the left. Fasting kinda-sorta built in (kid made breakfast, bless them). I can't help but to wonder if this is God gently reminding me to just try to be better at handling all the things with happiness, gratitude and a laugh. We can all sort of get on board with this resolution, right? 

Less this: 

More this:


6 comments:

  1. Oh NO! I'm so sorry Blythe. Hope you're back on your feet soon.

    And so sorry we missed your big screen debut. Can't wait to watch it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Goodness I get so excited when you post. I think the "how crazy our life is now" video you posted right after Johnny was born made me more excited to be a mother than almost anything! So blog it out! Hope you're feeling better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  3. So when will we be able to see the segment in which you appear?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Rick- I'm not totally sure yet but I'll keep you posted!!

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