And so we did and I HATE IT. Maybe hate is strong. I dislike it. I DISLIKE IT! So far.
I think it's mostly just growing pains. I am realizing that because I have homeschooled the girls we have had 8.5 years as a family who just does everything together. I take my kids to the grocery store and to Target and to dentist appointments and it's almost always a pain in the ass but it's also the way it's always been and I really love it, ass pains and all. To have someone out of the mix feels odd and a little sad. I am sure once the girls are doing schoolwork in the day, the tone will change. We will all be in the same flow, we will eat and get dressed and settle into school at the same time. I imagine it will feel better then. But right now it feels strange. Even after I dropped $87,878,997,697 on miniature uniforms, it feels strange. Because we are all still in Summer mode I feel like I'm shipping Johnny off for no reason (even though school, yes school!). I don't like it. I'm sad I'm not ordering Handwriting Without Tears or cracking open 100 Easy Lessons or buying overly priced crayons in cute tin cases. And I know that even if I did homeschool him, I probably just couldn't do it. And he would get the short end of the stick every day. Maybe that's the hard part, too.
It hasn't been the easiest for him, either. Which makes things extra crappy. Even today he teared up when I dropped him off. The first day he went to the office saying his whole body hurt, and the next day he told me he stared at the wall and tried to see through it towards our house because he missed me so bad.
Breaking my heart, J!
I know I need to give it a little more time, and I do think he will really love it but right now it's taking everything I've got PLUS a sensible husband to keep me from canceling Kindergarten all together. Screw you, Kindergarten. SCREW YOU*. ( *MY FEELINGS)
I mourn the fact that this season of "everyone home all the time" could be over. I want to hold on to their togetherness but also, you know, be reasonable about how completely normal and average kids going to school is. These are foreign waters to me.
Now come the real questions...
AM I BEING A PSYCHO?
ARE YOU ROLLING YOUR EYES AT ME?
AM I TOO SENSITIVE?
AM I THE MOM WHO SECRETLY WANTS TO HOMESCHOOL THROUGH COLLEGE FOR MY OWN SELFISH REASONS/AT THIS RISK OF MY KIDS EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL WELL BEING?
***you: you're so lame it's only Kindergarten****
WILL IT BE OK???? sobsobsobsob