Monday, February 1, 2016

Then and now

What is it about having a blog that makes me think I've got to catch you up on everything??

I know you're not dying for it but I feel obligated so just let me rattle on a bit and we can all be done with it, ok?

I'm going to assume anyone reading this interacts with me on Instagram or IRL and if that assumption is of the true variety then you all already know what I'm going to tell you.

(looking good, per usual)


^
Didn't we juuuuuuust do this?

Yes.

Weren't you posting mirror-like images of yourself this time last year??

Yes.

Yes to all the ?'s.

Except to the "Were you trying??" one. No. NO NAH NAH NO NO NO.

(I think I made some dumb joke about being bad at NFP a few months back. Harr harr harr, universe.)

But you've missed a whole bunch bc if you remember correctly, my typical first trimester m.o. is to crawl into a hole and die a little bit. But now I'm passed that and I'm not about to leave you hanging.

So, here is the then part of this post.

For our entire 10.5 years of married life, my version of NFP has gone something like this... UHHHH, I think I'm ovulating. (abstain for a few days). K, I think it's probably fine now. (stop abstaining.)

I know, I know, super profesh. BUT, in defense of my haphazard methodology, we've never once gotten pregnant while "practicing" this style! So, after Joe was born (like 5 minutes ago, I think) I went ahead and pulled out the big guns by buying ovulation strips. I'm pretty sure I already bored you with that. I knew there was a risk in just using ovulation strips because it doesn't count for all the babies you might priming for conception before you ovulate (because science says sperm can live for up to 5 days in the right conditions or something). But again, since I had never, ever gotten pregnant by using the worst method of NFP ever, I figured I would be juuuuuust fine by using ovulation strips. And then some day soon I would pony up and buy a monitor and etc, etc, etc.

So, the first time I got a positive ovulation test was in early November and I was like BOOM, look at my body go! I pulled out the red "thou shall not touch me" card and we set off on our first round of NFPing post-baby Joe. The day after my positive test, I took the kids to the Natural History Museum and I cramped on my right side the entire drive downtown. I was so excited that the test was, like, accurate. I was totally ovulating, and little did I know, totally conceiving!! (Again, if you don't know how this is possible, look it up or ask your mother).

We faithfully abstained for the 72 hour window after I stopped getting positive tests but I was already pregnant. I conceived our baby that day in the Natural History Museum while my husband was 30 miles away at his desk. I cannot wait to awkwardly tell this baby that story some day. Maybe during an alcohol-fueled conversation at Thanksgiving dinner.

9 days after I was supposed to get my next period I was texting Queen G (who's BACK btw) and I casually mentioned that I was, you know, 9 days late. And she casually mentioned that mayyyyybbe I might be pregnant and I was like LOL NO, GRACE, WE ARE HARDCORE PRACTICING NFP WITH OVULATION STRIPS AND EVERYTHING. And she was like okkkkeeeeeey.

But it did get me thinking... a little. And then a lot.

So, I decided to check just in case. Even though I totally wasn't pregnant.

The only test the local drugstore had were digitals which I've never, ever used. If you haven't ever, ever used them then you should know that the test blinks for a minute or so but you aren't supposed to "read" it until the blinking has stopped. So, I immediately get a PREGNANT PREGNANT PREGNANT blink, blink, blinking at my face but I have no idea if I'm meant to trust that blinking PREGNANT OR NOT.

That minute was a long minute.

But the blinking stopped and the PREGNANT stayed.

Pregnant.

And I was so upset. I burst into pitiful tears.

Those words are hard to write. Any baby is a gift, of course. I am grateful for a body that is able to conceive and carry children, of course. I do trust God, of course. But, man, I really thought that what I **needed** was a big, fat, looooonnnng break. And I really wanted God to give me that.

I think it's important to be ok with all of those crappy feelings. In a way, I think it's a really important part of being pro-life. Because it is not an easy life. I feel like I need to say that again with maybe some shouting... IT IS NOT AN EASY LIFE. It's filled with sacrifice and heartache and denying yourself and it is hard to accept all of those things. But the important part is the yes. Even if it's a weak, wounded yes, through an ocean of tears while you're locked inside your tiny half-bathroom.

I am ok with admitting I really, really did not think it was the right decision in that moment.

I am also ok with trusting that it had to be the right decision, even if I didn't want it to be.

The frustrations came crashing down. There goes my post-partum body-in-progress, there goes my sleep, my energy, there goes feeling like a normal human being. And maybe the hardest, hardest part... there goes my milk supply. I had never had supply issues while pregnant but instantly my milk disappeared. I found myself buying my first cans of formula and looking down at 5 month old Joe and wondering how in the world this was what was "best" for our family.

And while I hid away in my first trimester hole of death, I waited. I waited for God to smooth things out for me in my heart and in my mind. And guess what?
He did.

Duh. He is so good at that.

I realized how much I had to be grateful for. Grateful that we decided to send the girls to school before I got pregnant, so the decision didn't have to feel desperate and forced. Grateful that Kirby's instinct was to laugh when mine was to cry. Grateful that so much about the way I've always done things has changed in this past year. I feel like God has graciously be priming me to be flexible and to roll with the tides of life. I am grateful for the humility that came with admitting to people I was pregnant... again. Grateful for the humility that came with formula-feeding my baby in a culture full of aggressive opinions on the matter. Grateful for learning how to be gracious with myself for not being able to breastfeed my baby. Grateful for the opportunity to practice what I preach and say yes to God's call for our family. Grateful that there really was so much to laugh about. Conceived while wandering through the Natural History Museum. Conceived during our first month ever of really, really trying not to get pregnant. We have to buy a new car... again. We have to figure out where in our small home to fit another baby... again.

And we will. And it'll be fine.

And the now? Now, I am excited. I find out this week if the baby is a boy or girl and I can't wait. This little stink is here on purpose and I can't wait to discover why.



108 comments:

  1. You're so wonderful. I don't even know you apart from reading on here but...yeah. Thanks for voicing all this. Thanks for the honesty and the reality. You're building a great family legacy, a BIG one! and think of looking back when you're 70 and knowing...it was so so so worth it.

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    Replies
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  3. I love you and your honest voice, my friend. Thank you for writing!!!!!!!

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  4. I am so glad you wrote this post. My first babies were twins and then when they were a mere 5 months old I was pregnant with my third and I still remember the moment when I tested positive for a pregnancy. I had the same tears. Fast forward to being currently pregnant with my fifth baby and I had those same doubts and fears for different reasons since the spacing is a little more. But it's so nice to hear that sometimes pregnancy is mixed with fear and I love how you wrote that you waited knowing God would smooth out your worries.

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  5. Soo excited for your family! Also, just really moved by your witness to life.Trusting in what ever God wants is really beautiful stuff.

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  6. Soo excited for your family! Also, just really moved by your witness to life.Trusting in what ever God wants is really beautiful stuff.

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  7. Haha....I am like the queen incubater of sperm. My babies have all been conceived in the weirdest places after a week of abstaining while definitely not trying. We were thrilled, but man does God have a sense of humor, huh?

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  8. Good on you for being honest...I've been wondering how you are since seeing the news on IG. I had a similar experience when my 2nd was 4.5months old and I also had to supplement with formula (except for one little feeding at night). I cried as my husband re assured me of God's providence and, you are right, God provided and saw us through. My AH is now 3 and she & I have a very special bond. I am so glad God placed her in my womb despite my protestations. Prayers for you & yours!

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  9. My "oh mannnnn" baby, #3, was so perfectly what we needed, that whenever I worry about having new babies I remember: God knows better than me. He does. But it's still hard. Thank you for being honest.

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  10. Congratulations!! And big hugs!

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  11. Thank you! I have been here, too, and it could be a lonely place without women like you telling the good news that God is Good, even when we think he's crazy :)

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  12. Thank you for showing us the reality of what a "yes" to God brings. Your kids are blessed to have you as their mom. Congratulations and prayers for a smooth pregnancy!

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  13. Congratulations, you brave lady. Thank you for this lesson on trust. Also, Natural History indeed. This kid's going to be witty.

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  14. Oh mama, I have been in your shoes. THREE TIMES NOW. Every time I have cried in overwhelmed misery, every time I have told God He was crazy, and every time my milk has dried up and I have had to wean a 6-9 month old. And now I look at my beautiful daughters' faces and I feel so silly for being so devastated every time. But you're totally right and I will no longer feel guilty about it. We told God "yes" (after much gnashing of teeth on my part and giggling on my husband's part) even though it was so hard and He was right after all. Ok, sorry about the book-length comment! Love your post, as always.

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  15. Wow. This was perfectly said. Thank you for being so truthful and encouraging! Can't wait to share this with a couple people:-) I've never been able to put into words what you so bravely described here.

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  16. Congrats!! Great post! Random. But I have to tell you that after reading your post about going to the hospital to get an epidural for your last birth after home births..... It gave me
    The courage to do the same. I had my 5th in a hospital with an epidural after 3 home births. And it was great! Thanks for keeping it real.

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  17. Oh sweet Blythe. I am so happy for you and Kirby. God indeed needs your little munchkin here. I am so happy you were able, by God's grace, to be gentle with yourself and work your way through ALL the BIG feels to a place of peace. God has great plans for you and your sweet family. I can't wait to see where he leads you ❤️

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  18. I especially like all your gratefuls at the end!

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  19. Same thing happened to me with baby #7. :) Loved this: "But the most important part is yes. Even if it's a weak, wounded yes..." YES!!!

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  20. So good, Blythe. You'll be great. And so will the little stinker.

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  21. Thank you for writing this! I am currently expecting #5 and this is the first time that *after* the baby I really want a little break from being preggers, (like to the point of being really worked up about it), but.... I keep finding all these little things (this post for one) that are whispering so many calming words. So, thank you again! And congratulations!

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  22. I felt this way exactly with #4 and #5! So glad they're both here but the beginning can be so scary.

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  24. Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I am SO so so so SO excited for you! So many congratulations and prayers, Blythe!

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  25. I relate to much of this, with the exception of the fact that when I got that ovulation cramp, a week after I thought I had ovulated, I was outside feeding the goats. I guess that means our, "not our plan, but His" baby girl was conceived in the goat pen? Well maybe not exactly, but that was when I had my first, "Oh shit, I'm totally going to be pregnant" thought. I may not share that story with her... Anyway, we were counting on advanced maternal age and all that waning fertility to help with our crappy NFP. It didn't. And we blamed the fact that we did't buy that fertility monitor. (We were totally about to with my husband's birthday money, no less.) And I cried at first too. But of course the peace came, as it does. Congratulations, Blythe!

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  26. This was pretty much my exact experience when I learned we were expecting our fifth. The crying is a real thing, and it's ok, and it's healthy, and it's not bad to admit it. It's what keeps things real between all us moms because being pro life and being open to life is hard sometimes! God takes us so far, and we are always better for it. Congratulations!

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  27. My husband is the 7th in his family and has a sister just 16 months older than him. Their spacing was the closest in their family of 8 kids. When I saw you post about being pregnant with #7 so close to #6 on IG, all I could think about was that I'm now *married* to that baby and we have 3 beautiful babies, and one little soul in heaven, ourselves. I, of course, can't imagine my life without him and I'm so thankful that his mom was open to life so soon after his sister came along.

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  28. I'm sure it's overwhelming. I had just two and wish I'd had more, if that makes you feel better? You'll love hanging around with them as young adults - I just honestly have to say I don't know how you find the time to make more :)

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  29. I shared this gem on my FB page and another reader left this, which might be beautiful to you. http://thebleedingpelican.com/corragio/

    Congratulations, and corragio!

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  30. Its incredible the trust God has in you and K... Many congratulations!!!

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  31. This is so similar to what I'm currently experiencing! We were even using the Clearblue monitor... but I might have been slightly less than diligent, skipped a couple days of testing because hello, lactational amenorrhea... then the morning after what we would ultimately realize was the night of conception, I finally got around to testing... aaaaand the little digital image of an egg cell appears. "CONGRATS YOU'RE OVULATING!" My husband and I looked at each other and he said, "So I guess you're going to get pregnant now." Boom. Correct.

    My third baby is 9 months old. I'm 5 weeks along and my milk supply is already dipping dramatically. It makes me sad. But I'm happy about the pregnancy! Mostly. Sometimes. At least, I know I WILL be happy, and that's good enough to sustain me for now.

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  32. Pretty awesome read! I totally get that moment we should have jumped with joy for a new baby. But, instead cry behind your locked bedroom door...even if it was just a minute.

    U are going to rock this next birth story 😀. Can't wait to read it!

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  33. Pretty awesome read! I totally get that moment we should have jumped with joy for a new baby. But, instead cry behind your locked bedroom door...even if it was just a minute.

    U are going to rock this next birth story 😀. Can't wait to read it!

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  34. This is so great, Blythe. Thank you for your honesty and your witness.

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  35. I love the half tea half lemonade, but usually get Lori's Lemon for the lower sugar content.

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  36. Been there. BEEN THERE. Except my "hardcore" new NFP trick was the saliva microscope. Totally worked. Totally didn't matter! I got sick right around when I ovulated, so I guess it got delayed and our extra-conservative post peak safe zone was not safe. I cried. We just had beautiful #6 in January. I keep telling myself I am getting the monitor this time, but I'm afraid that won't matter either, lol. Thanks for your honesty, and congratulations!!

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  37. Just had #5 last June. My 5th in 8.5 years. I'm in the need-serious-break phase. So I feel ya! Totally appreciate your story and think I'll be fine with whatever (or whomever) God wants to toss my way. Although I'm leaning heavily on the Marquette method right now! :)

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  38. So many emotions reading this post! It is one of my favorite about the reality of being open to life that I have ever read! I so understand and my heart goes out to you! I also find your honesty so true and real. I loved how you wrote about "wounded yeses" and God smoothing your worries and the last line about the baby being on purpose. Loving is hard hard hard and I am thanking God for you and your great love to inspire me. You are doing great things!
    Prayers sent up for you and your family!

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  39. Beautiful post, Blythe! So glad you're back. I really love your honesty.
    We dealt with years of infertility, and basically were told it would never happen. We adopted 2 absolutely perfect, beautiful children and were so grateful. And when our son (the younger one) was 4 weeks old, I found out I was pregnant! My first thought was "Oh S**t", which was NOT what I thought my reaction would be if I ever found out I was pregnant :) Our two littles are exactly 9 months apart, which was really, really hard, but is now completely awesome. And there's something liberating in knowing that God has his plans, and despite our efforts to the opposite, his plans really are best. I clearly was supposed to have kids 9 months apart. You can't argue with God when things like this happen (although I sure tried for awhile!) Anyway, congrats!

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  40. So beautiful! I'm so happy for you and Kirby! Can't wait to meet awesome #7!

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  41. Blytheblytheblytheblythe. I want to hug you so hard right now. A little birdie (coughKendracough) may have mentioned your news but I thought I would wait to hear it from you and I'm so glad I did. This is just really beautiful and so perfectly, awesomely right on. I have cried at baby news before. Real hot, hard, angry tears at a God who was making a fool out of me or some other such nonsense. I can feel that sadness about the milk supply too because even though Rosie is 14 months, I usually nurse until my babes are about 2 and so... she is still nursing but I have no milk and it totally hurts but it's absolutely right for us right now. Anyway, I hope to see your beautiful face and BELLEH at a Chez Tierney someday soon. In the meantime, I heart you.

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  42. Congratulations!! As far as my 2 cents, I think mostly we are here in life to learn that we are not in control - whether that's having to bottle feed, or have kids close together, or no kids at all - whatever it is, God wants us to know that we are not the ones in control.

    I'm not catholic, but I have been using NFP because of the Catholic blogs I read - anyway, I really appreciate all of your experiences. I loved this post - I just found out a week ago that I am pregnant (with our sixth), and we were NFPing beautifully. But...it turns out that sperm can definitely live five days, in fact, they can live at least six days, based on my chart from this last month (and I have easy to notice signals, regular periods - it was a beautiful, standard chart - that resulted in a pregnancy). I got pregnant with my fifth on our first real month practicing NFP, and although we followed all the signs, and were really conservative in our abstaining, I got pregnant. I had always thought it was user error from our first time doing this, but now I am inclined to think that my husband and I must be really fertile together (with super sperm - tmi, but maybe not really, when you are already talking about life and its beginnings).

    The funny thing is, we were trying out homeschooling this year, and after I got the news I just knew that I couldn't do it while morning sick, and started the process of putting my three oldest back into school (we had done public school up until this year). I had already read your post about putting your girls in school a ton of times, finding a lot of strength from it, because I was doubting whether I wanted to keep homeschooling or not already. After I found out I was pregnant, I went through and read that post again, and really felt okay with it, okay that I wasn't going to finish this year homeschooling, and maybe I would in the future, but that this was the most important thing to me, to our family, and that was okay.

    Then I saw on instagram that you were pregnant (now I feel like a stalker, since I have never commented on here before...), and when I found out I was pregnant the same week I saw your post about it (long after you had posted it), I felt even more peaceful, remembering that really, there are very few things that are truly important, and these surprise babies are definitely one of them. Now I just need to figure out how to make peace with the first trimester - do you want to write a post on that? Because even though I have done this five times, I am not sure "curling up and not dying while waiting for a couple of months to pass" counts as a method.

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    1. Ok- that totally is a method!! But you've given me a good idea for a post...God bless you and congratulations!!

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  43. Note to self: Avoid Natural History Museum for the time being.

    But, really, the world just needs as many Fike babies as it can get.

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  44. Yeah, we are living parallel lives right now - unexpectedly pregnant with #7 here too. Totally felt guilty about not being happy about it, but you're right, being open to life means accepting all the sacrifices and struggles and if it was easy it wouldn't be worth it!

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  45. We totally abstained on our honeymoon (which we took a week after our wedding) while I was conceiving/already pregnant with our first baby. Funny how NFP can work that way!!

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  46. Your honesty is SO refreshing. Congratulations!

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  47. Blythe, thanks for your honesty and awesomeness! Isn't it beautiful how God continually throws curveballs and teaches us to trust Him? Peaceful trust in God's plan has been the big thing that God taught me in NFP; because we can use NFP to avoid conception or try to conceive, pulling out all the tricks, but in the end-it's all up to God. Congratulations! :)

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  48. Thank you for this. I tend to be so focused on "my" side of the NFP thing- the infertility side- that it's hard to remember sometimes that the other end of the spectrum is a struggle, too! God knows exactly what we need to lean into Him in each season of our lives-- they just look different, sometimes.

    Congrats on your new little one, and if you wouldn't mind sending a little of that super-fertility over here, that'd be great. ;)

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  49. Girl you made me cry cry cry. And lit a fire under my arse to get to a chiro with my back pains right now because I'm in that "post get your body back" zone and I am the wasting time I told myself I would use to get in better shape before we conceive again (God willing). Congratulations Blythe, you guys = power fam. ❤️

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  50. Oh, thank you for this! I am having number seven in August, so it's a comfort to be in the trenches with someone. I'm one of those lucky ladies who ovulates twice each month (babies 4 and 5 were twins), so surprise pregnancies are no longer surprises in this house. (: You are so beautifully demonstrating the need for flexibility and trust in God's will. It helps me so much in managing my own mental flurry of concern that I can't keep my "system" going in the midst of new demands. Thanks again, and CONGRATULATIONS!

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  51. Oh man I have cried those angry, frightened bathroom tears. I love that picture you posted of your sweet girl and your ultrasound-- the perfect reminder of God's plans and our plans and how things work out. Yay for sweet #7!!!

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  52. I just wanted to say thank you for your openness to life, in spite of the struggle and embracing the sacrifice. I am a slightly younger mom (29) and we've never really needed to use nfp hardcore (just take the babies as they come which has been about every 22 months)... But it would take a lot more trust in your situation where you are instantly fertile. I'm sure you'll look back and the formula not homeschooling etc won't matter (although I have been humbled in the same ways with going from 100% homeschool mentality to public school with my kindergartener). What will matter is that you have all these children that you never would have planned for on your own but that you've formed Into faithfilled Catholics. You are an amazing woman (as all of us are that are just trying day after day to embrace our crazy lives of lots of little ones!) and are inspiring a lot of people you don't even know with your trust in God's will.

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  53. Even though the baby is coming lot sooner than you'd hoped, I'm sure it will be an absolutely wonderful blessing to your family. And bonus! You can totally perfect your epidural setup this time, haha!

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  54. *tears* You are the best! Many prayers!

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  55. haha the Lord definitely has a sense of humor! I know for certain I was one of those kids my Mom cried about when she found out I was coming so soon after my brother!

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  56. My"last" two are 16 months apart. Definitely felt the wtf? Especially since I had a "practice" lh surge. And a week later a real one. But now they are the best of friends and every day we are all so glad. But you know you'll get there. Which is such an important part of explain what pro-life looks like.

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  57. Congratulations! What an honest and beautiful post.

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  58. Your posts are always my favorite! Our lives are vastly different right now, but I continue to be inspired by you all the time. You have an amazing heart and I hope to be as great a mother as you someday!

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  59. My midwife said after the first trimester the milk would get better. Sadly, I had to stop anyway to stop cervical thinning. But I was really sad.

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  60. I've never commented but I've been reading for a while. I love this post, and especially the part about it not being easy. I think there's a general assumption from people that if we're willingly choosing something, it MUST be easy. I can't relate to what you're going through as I'm single, but I know it can't be easy even if it makes you happy now. Some of the best things in life are difficult.

    Sorry for the essay! Congratulations on your new baby!!

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  61. Just wrote this a few weeks ago; it might resonate. Hugs. http://www.agreatparade.com/2016/01/the-gifts-we-didn-ask-for.html?m=1

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  62. So awesome, and so SO real! It's ok to be upset and thankful in the exact same moment. It IS hard. Blessings often are! Thanks!
    And it's so funny to hear how God says "You're in control, huh? Hmm... Yeah, not so much..." to other people besides just me!

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  63. Okay, so you have to know that I hardly ever comment on blogs...even though I am a blogger and love comments. #hypocrite.

    So, you must have done something right here for me to reach out.

    This was so good. I love you humor, but what really touched me was your vulnerability at the end.

    I have six. I'm not Catholic, but I adamantly believe in the Lord's sovereignty and in Life, with a capital L. We are almost guaranteed to have more (so say 6 kids in 8.5 years). And, if I found out I was pregnant right now (my youngest is 13 months), I would feel EXACTLY the way that you were describing. In fact, I've already had two, "Absolutely positive I'm pregnant" bawling sessions on the closet floor in the last two months (thank you weird, hiccupy, hormonal period irregularities). I've had two "conceived on a day when we went nowhere near each other" pregnancies. Yeah. All of it struck such a chord with me. Especially what you said about the "Yes." Because that is absolutely, resoundingly my answer, no matter how much I hope that the Lord gives me at least a little bit longer before that pregnancy test shows two lines again.

    Congrats, lady! May your 7th little blessing be a continual reminder of God's goodness and sovereignty.

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  64. I conceived my 5th while my husband was floating around in the ocean near Florida (he was still in the Navy at the time) and I was having hernia surgery at home in Virginia! Haha - we are quite a pair with my healthy environment and his super sperm of 5 days that led to the happy event. My mind was blown when I kept not starting. I had always heard 3 days, but never 5.

    I cried those bathroom tears and my hubby chuckled when I tested positive for #3. On our way to 3 under 3. Diapers galore! I was so concerned for *my* mental health. *my* physical health. (My OB seriously advised to atleast a year break due to birthing a large baby #2.) But then it occurred to me. The REAL beauty of NFP. That doing all you're supposed to do, follow all the rules, etc. It still leaves all the room for God to do His thing in our marriage. It was the ultimate realization that if God sends a baby when practicing NFP, even after all the rules were followed, He will bless your mental and physical health. And believe me. He has and does! :)

    Congrats to you and thanks for keeping it real!

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  65. PLEEAASSE DO bless us with a 'how to' the first trimester post! It is THE hardest part of life. period.... At least it seems that way for so long a time.

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  66. I've been there when we thought we were being conservative. Haha now we know that if we are serious about avoiding pregnancy, we can't go past day 6. Opks are really just helpful to confirm ovulation but a negative one doesn't mean you aren't already fertile and sperm can definitely live 7 days in good conditions. ;) starting to abstain a few days before ovulation isn't enough time, usually. I suggest a good class and instructor next time!

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  67. So much thank you for writing this!! I've been hoping to space a bit after every pregnancy and, well, my oldest is 4.5 and we're expecting #4. After our third I started using the clearblue monitor to be absolutely! sure! about our charting in order to for sure space the next one and the month we got pregnant I mixed up the monitor settings and wasn't able to use it at all. So many tears but God does have a plan. You're so right that this life isn't easy but seeing all these women chime in with similar stories and support is uplifting!

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  68. I think I was meant to read this! Your awesome!

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  69. In a similar predicament at the moment. My cycle is very regular. Like on the dot regular. I track using a pregnancy calendar and was very sure when we did it, it was a week past my ovulating day. Anyway, my period is now a week late and I just got tested - positive! Baby #3.

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    1. I don't want to seem smarmy, but given those circumstances, it seems that God really wanted your baby to be here. It may be overwhelming, but God must need THAT baby with YOU as it's parents. You all must be pretty special!!! God bless you all!

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  70. God made you pregnant eh? I'm pretty sure unprotected sex did that. You speak of conceiving "while your husband was 30 miles away" like this is atypical. It's not. It's how biology works...

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  71. Beautiful, honest testimony. He sure has a sense of humor up there! :)

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  72. Congratulations! Loved this post. :)

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  73. You are an inspiration, and your honesty about how hard life can be is exactly what I needed to validate my own feelings (as a mom of 5). Thank you! God bless you!

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  74. Such a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing.

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  75. When you talk about your first trimester hole of death, are you talking about hg? I'd love to hear more about that. I had hyperemesis September to November and it has (so far) been the hardest thing that I have ever experienced (this is our first baby). I'm assuming I'll have it with all our children.

    I love reading your posts! Very down to earth and honest.

    Also, I'd love to know more about a fertility monitor instead of guessing with temperature, mucus, etc.
    Sperm surviving five days sure makes things complicated, huh?

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  76. This is exactly what I needed to read as I'm working through my own 'what I thought I needed'. I'll be going from 3 kids to 4 and I was having a really hard time figuring out how it will work. Have faith. Really, so simple and so hard at the same time. Thank you.

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  77. I am about to have number 2 and me and my husband decided to take a break (2 years apart ;)) for number 3. But, who knows. I know I don't want the anxiety of NFP esp in the postpartum time to take over.

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  78. Ummmmm...babies are actually conceived when sperm meets egg---life begins. Conception. Then the tiny baby spends a week or so tumbling down the fallopian tubes in order to implant in the uterus. When you feel implantation cramping, you are not conceiving. The baby has already been conceived. Unless you do not believe that life begins at conception, which science proves to us...

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    1. Ummm...Annelise, cramping following an LH surge is ovulation cramping, caused by the follicle bursting, and conception has not taken place at that point. Implantation cramping (if experienced) will take place about 5-7 days following the LH surge, when the now fertilized egg becomes an embryo and makes it to the uterus. Blythe is right. You are correct that life begins at conception, but she was talking about ovulation cramping, not implantation cramping. Two different cramps meaning two different things. :)

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  79. Blythe, first, Congratulations! I know what you're going through.

    Second, I can't believe someone hasn't already told you this or you didn't read it online, but...if you start abstaining after you get a positive ovulation test, that's basically ttc. Once your LH is high enough to make the test positive, you are so close to ovulation that you are pretty much guaranteed pregnant if you've been having intercourse up to that point.
    I (six kids in under 7 years...) have used LH tests to confirm ovulation in the past, with good success. I was using them in conjunction with Creighton Model for our longest successful time of avoidance-12 cycles, and then we got pregnant on purpose. (A rare occurrence around here).
    Anyway, you abstain from whenever you decide is your "beginning of possible fertile time"- perhaps CD6 or 8, then you get your positive strip when you get it, and when you go back to getting negative strips, you count 3-4 days from the last positive strip. Then the party starts.
    The ovulation strip method works, but definitely not the way you're describing! Haha. I read that and was like, wait, they were trying...wha? Surprised why?
    Helpful:http://thenfpchronicles.blogspot.com/2010/01/and-now-some-pictures-of-stuff-i-peed.html

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  80. Congratulations! I was lead to your blog for the first time, to this post. I have recently been diagnosed with an illness & I am inspired by your faith - which I really need right now. We can't control so much but can get through knowing God is in control.

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  81. Congratulations Blythe! I love your blog, I love you! My inlaws live in SP and everytime I drive through F I think of you (and maybe look wide eyed for a celebrity sighting of you!) I loved this post, I am praying for you! Your love of the faith and the way you embrace it all while being real and honest inspires me so much, especially as a cradle Catholic. You converts know your ish man. God bless you Blythe! God bless you and your gorgeous family and your awesome sense of style and the newest new little Fike!!

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  82. I just re-read this post and it is really so, so good. Thanks for being willing to share this...I just had my second who was a surprise and my second baby in residency (emergency medicine). It's so hard...but so wonderful at the same time.

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  83. Thanks for writing such a great post. I really enjoyed reading that content.
    nick jr | minecraft games | barney

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  84. I read this post when you first posted it, and I just reread it because it is so, so good. Hope all is well in your part of the world!

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  85. الشرق الاوسط شركة نقل العفش بالدمام متخصصه فى نقل اثاث وعفش بالدمام والخبر والجبيل والقطيف والاحساء كما انها متخصصه فى النظافة وتنظيف المنازل ونظافة بالدمام والشقق والبيوت والفلل والكنب بالدمام
    شركة نقل اثاث بالدمام
    شركة نقل عفش الجبيل
    شركة نقل عفش بالدمام
    شركة نقل اثاث بالجبيل
    شركة نقل عفش بالقطيف
    شركة نقل اثاث بالاحساء
    شركة نقل عفش بالخبر
    شركة نقل اثاث بالجبيل
    شركة نقل عفش بالخبر
    شركة نقل اثاث بالخبر
    شركة غسيل كنب بالدمام
    شركة تنظيف كنب بالدمام

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  86. افضل شركة تنظيف خزانات ومنازل وشقق بالمدينة المنورة شركة غسيل خزانات ومكافحة حشرات بالمدينة المنورة ونقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة مؤسسة صفوة المدينة
    شركة غسيل خزانات بالمدينة المنورة

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  87. فرسان النيل هى الاولى فى نقل العفش بالدمام هي شركة نقل عفش بالخبر وشركة نقل عفش بالجبيل والدمام وشركة نقل عفش بالقطيف والدمام وشركة نقل عفش بالاحساء وشركة نقل عفش بقيق وراس التنورة
    شركة نقل عفش بالدمام
    شركة نقل اثاث بالدمام
    شركة تنظيف بالجبيل
    شركة نقل عفش بالجبيل
    شركة نقل عفش بالقطيف

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  88. I have been married for over 2years and no issue(baby) to show for it, I and my husband have gone to different places for help for me to get pregnant, but all our efforts where fruitless. My husband became tired of me and started accusing me of the cause of our problem. I tried to make him believe that I don't know why I cannot get pregnant. But as a man he pays deaf ears to my words. It came to a time when he gave me an ultimatum to leave his house. I became more crazy and restless. I search for help including where there is no help. My husband finally sent me packing after 5years of our marriage. when I was in my parents? house I was still searching for a solution until I met an old friend whom gave me the contact of this spell caster Dr Omoa, she said he saved her marriage too. I contacted him for help. He told me that it is never too late that I will need two spell in one. Which means an ex back spell and a fertility spell. He actually cast a spell for me after 48hours of his spell; my husband came to my parents? house looking for me. We got back together again. That made me so happy. Still with his fertility spell, I became pregnant after 2months of his spell. What a powerful man. I am the happiest person on earth. If you need any help, I recommend this great man to you, I am so sure he will help you the way he helped me ( dradanikesolutionhome@outlook.com ) you can call him or whatsApp his number +2348141309378 He is the only Doctor that can help you


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  89. Hello everyone i want to share a live testimony on how Dr marvin bring my husband back to me, myself and my husband were on a serious breakup, even before then we were always quarreling, fighting and doing different ungodly act..My husband packed his things out of the house and we had to live in different area, despite all this i was looking for a way to re_unite with my husband, not until i met Dr marvin the great spell caster who was able to bring my husband back home, Dr marvin cast a love spell for me, and after 2days i started seen results about the spell....Today my family is back again and we are happy living fine and healthy, with Dr marvin all my dream came through in re_uniting my marriage, friends in case you need the help of Dr marvin kindly mail him on(marvinlovespell011@gmail.com) Sir i will forever recommend you for what you did for me!! MARVINLOVESPELL011@GMAIL.COM

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  90. What a miracle to be pregnant again from the help of Dr JATTO, for 3 years of marriage me me and my Husband has been barren and ever since then i have been to several spiritual doctors they never helped me at all, and even with this childlessness me and my husband separated and he told me that he won't leave with a woman that can not give him a child, i cried and cried so much, until i met with this great spell caster that helped me and restored me back to my husband after meeting with him on the internet of how he helped others woman on conceiving having a happy family, after contacting him on his email:drjattolovespellteple@gmail.com or drjattolovespelltemple@yahoo.co.uk,and after speaking to him he cast a spell for me and when he was done my husband came back to me and made love to me and without wasting much time i was re-united back to my husband and after all we have been through i finally got pregnant and found out i was 2weeks pregnant and so that how my joy began. contact on his Mobile number:+2347050270268 or visit his website:http://drjattolovespellte.wixsite.com/spelltempl..

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  91. Hello everyone, i am here to share my testimony on how i conceived my baby. by the help of a spell caster called Dr aza, i have been married to my husband for 12years without no issue.i had problems with my in-laws even my husband started to have new affairs aside our marriage. it was a very terrible thing to bear. i became a laughing stock among my pear, i prayed and fasted and nothing happened. i was now seen as always unhappy.i was even ready to pack out of my marital home and stay on my own because my husband was not given me any attention that i needed from him. i decided to focus on my job and try to live happy on my own. on this faithful day, i decided to check the internet for updates on healthy living and i came across a story of a woman called mercy, saying that Dr aza helped her with a spell that make her to conceive a baby. i decided to give him a try because this has been my greatest problem in life. today i am a proud mother with a son. words will not be enough to explained what this man did for me.i am a happy mother,i know there is someone in same condition and you feel there is no way. i urge you to contact him. This is the solution to every single mother around the globe. distance is not a barrier, he will surely make your dreams come trough. contact him today via email: azaspellcaster@gmail.com you can call him or whatsApp his number +2348107155060

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  92. I want to use this great medium to thank LORD MASUKA for helping me to get my boyfriend back after he dumped me for 3 months .My boyfriend breakup with me because he see another girl at his church and told me he is no longer want me and live me in pain and heart break.I seek for help on the internet and i saw so many good talk about this great spell caster LORD MASUKA of lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com and i contacted him also and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell for me which i use to get back my boyfriend within the period of 3 days and i am so grateful to him for the good work he has done for me,that is why i also want to let everyone who is in need of help out there to also seek help from him so he can help.His email is lordmasukaspelltemple@hotmail.com or call +2347053105287 or view and contact him on his website:
    http://lordmasukalovespelltemple.webs.com you can contact for any kind of help and he will help you. And you can also reach him on facebook Harry Masuka or Skype Lord masuka

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  93. PERMANENTSPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM WhatsApp: +2348100663964, www.permanentspellcaster.com . All thanks to Lord Henry of permanent spell cast magics for bringing back my ex and mending my broken marriage. I almost lost all hopes of getting back my ex after 2 years of breakup. My name is Emilia Book, i and my husband broke up 2 years ago after a fight. He packed out of the house leaving a note which read "AM DONE" I got back from work that evening only to get the note and didn't find my husband. I visited his friends home to know if he was there but he wasn't. I lost him for almost 1 year and 7 months until i was told by a friend the he was living in Paris with another lady. It hurt me so much because i was already 2 weeks pregnant when he left. I went to Paris, met with him and tried to talk to him but he didn't listen, i told him he was the father of our child and he said he knew and drove away. I felt so bad and hurt. I went back home with tears from my eyes and ever since i always tried every possible means to get him back home but all always got lost. I was introduced to Lord Henry of permanent spell cast by a neighbor who gave me Lord Henry's email and phone number. I contacted the spell caster regarding my marriage problems and he helped me with love spell on my husband. He told me that i shall get back my husband the next 3 days after the love spell. I expected it and it really did happen as Lord Henry told me, my door bell rang that morning and i went to check who it was and to my greatest surprise it was my husband. He said he suddenly had thoughts of returning home to me and our child the day after the spell was done. I was so happy that he came back to me, but i pretended that i was cool. I want to use this medium to thank Lord Henry for mending my broken marriage and making my husband fall more deeply in love with me than before. Thank You Lord Henry. To you that is reading this story and all that is facing problems in marriages or relationships, contact Lord Henry too for help on Email: permanentspellcast@gmail.com , permanentspellcast@yahoo.com , and permanentspellcast@hotmail.com . WhatsApp: +2348100663964 Website: www.permanentspellcaster.com

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