Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Tiredness makes everything tired

I am sitting down to punch out this post because I am tired and it's honestly all I can think about (cry laughing emoji for real!!). It's nobody's fault except for mine (and DST). Last night I watched the clock turn 9:30 and I thought to myself- go to bed, and then my alarm buzzed on my phone at 9:55 saying go to bed for a full 8 hours of sleep and I gave it a glance and turned right back to Nick and Vanessa weeping into each other's arms in that Finnish great room. And then I watched approx 38 min of ATFR and now... tired. So tired!

Yesterday, as if he could see into my soul, the priest I see regularly for confession asked if I was happy. The question was oddly unrelated to my confession so I knew it was what I needed to be asked. I told him I wasn't, and I told him I felt like shit (got a laugh out of us both). Grumpy, snappy, impatient, spiritually lazy... you know. He suggested that maybe my Lenten mortification should be to get more rest, as backwards as that sounds. He said if this were a conversation between monks maybe the advice would be sleep less... push yourself further, mortify. "That may be the answer for the monastery," he said, "but it isn't for the housewife." 

The one in the middle of the world, with actual people depending on them, lovingly present and kind and all.

So, I say this to you- don't be like me! Don't get a bucket full of wisdom and go home and dump it out. Even if it is for the Bach (although I realize the challenge I was up against...) and maybe rethink your own version of sacrifice. I am realizing that it's maybe more sacrificial for me to peel myself off of the couch at 9:30 and go to bed when I know I should than it is to rise early. A good morning starts the night before, right? Right! 

I'm hoping to re-gung-ho myself this afternoon because this just will not do. Anybody feel me?

On a more glass half-full note, you know what IS making me happy? This.

Last week our wisteria bloomed and it's absolutely breathtaking, despite all my sniveling. I wish you could all smell it through the screen.

I have been trying to spend as much time as possible outside lately which is... not hard. More and more lately have I been finding myself totally overcome with gratitude for our home and it's insane natural beauty. At night with the window open, the smell of the flowers just pours into our room. I am finding new moments all the time to fall in love with this place.

Annnnnd I can't believe I wasted a post on being tired!! Lol. Gosh, what am I complaining about? OPEN WINDOW, SMELL FLOWERS, GO TO BED. Can someone come kick me in the ass?

Thanks for letting me hash out my trivial dilemmas, guys.



  1. I totally relate! Why is it so hard to just go to bed already?? Thanks for the reminder:-)

  2. Ha. This must be a sign that I should go to bed on time. Last night I stayed up way to late. I blame The Crown..

  3. This is a great reminder. I feel like you wrote this for me.

  4. I once had a priest in the confessional tell me I needed to go home and take a nap. I was pretty upset when I walked out of there, I mean, here I am trying to be saint and he tells me to take a nap. He was right.

  5. I feel the "sleep vs. momentary pleasure" battle so hard. Getting home at 8p and hustling to eat dinner and do anything that needs to be done at home means that I stay up too late far too often, just trying to squeeze in a face-mask or a show or reading... Sometimes to the detriment of getting prayer in, too. And I know - KNOW - that more sleep is basically the answer to all of it.

    1. I feel like it's the answer to everything!!! Sadly...

  6. This makes so much sense to me--thank you! Giving something up for Lent always seems so overwhelming as a mom of young children, but I can get on board with getting more sleep (if everyone else cooperates). It really is the answer to most things!

  7. Oh wow, what a wise priest. As I'm sitting here at 10:09pm *whoops* after falling asleep sitting up this morning, I'm taking his advise. I know what you mean, though. I've just been grumpy and snappy and can't seem to shake it off or snap out of it. I've been writing it off as "26 weeks pregnant, 4 kids 7 and under, husband works all.the.time..." blah blah blah, all valid, but not being honest with myself. I need to step away from the blogs/FB/kindle and SLEEP because otherwise, I'm a b. and a half and that's no fun for anyone, or saintly AT ALL.

  8. How does he always know what to say? Oh because he's going to be a saint in our lifetime #frpaulforprez ps I could smell your wisteria from megs house and whoa. Lucky

  9. The struggle is real! Esp when hubs likes to stay up late. One of my sacrifices is going to bed by 11 but I've only been mildly successful... :)

  10. I needed to hear this. My husband has been telling me for 6+ months that I'm a better wife and mom when I'm well rested and I've taken care of myself (ie loving him doesn't necessarily mean being a martyr every day). Since then I've been taking naps with the baby and I'm a different person! Perhaps for Lent this year, the Lord really wants to spoil me?

    Thanks for sharing!

  11. The time change makes this 100x harder, at least for me. Yes.

    I've been trying to do REAL relaxing more (a bath, a book, backgammon, sitting on the porch vs. reading things on the internet) plus going to bed already. The days I do this are so much better... yet the internet still calls, because it's so easy!